| I am tired of trying to be perfect. I am tired of being | | | | have us do can bring criticism from others. Not |
| told I just need to use this deodorant, drive this car, | | | | everyone will always agree with us. So, whether it is |
| use this exercise equipment, eat these foods, and so | | | | speaking in public or saying things within our circle of |
| on. And as if those admonitions were not enough, | | | | family and friends, at times we can be criticized. |
| there are all manner of people quite willing to tell us | | | | Sometimes those criticisms are valid, and sometimes |
| what our goals in life should be as well. Friends and | | | | they are not. But, regardless, can we learn to let go |
| family are very good at letting us know how we are | | | | of the pain of not being perfect in someone's eyes? |
| far from perfect. Is it any wonder that more and | | | | As Christians we know on an intellectual level that we |
| more of us are seeking prescriptions for anxiety and | | | | are not perfect, and never will be perfect. It is God's |
| depression? How are we ever supposed to live up to | | | | grace that offers us forgiveness for our |
| all the expectations other people have for us? And | | | | imperfections. And yet we often beat ourselves up |
| how do we live with ourselves when we can't? | | | | each time we are reminded of just how imperfect |
| Indeed no one can be ok by everybody's standards. | | | | we can be. We seem to forget that in several places |
| There will always be someone who can fault with us | | | | in the Bible Jesus is telling us to love our neighbor as |
| for something. But the good news is that that is ok. | | | | we love ourselves. What does that kind of love look |
| As Christians we don't need other people's approval. | | | | like? Are we, and our neighbors, only lovable when |
| We only need to try to do the best we can on any | | | | we use the right products, say the right words, or |
| given day, knowing that God loves us, and also | | | | perform according to someone else's expectation? |
| knowing that He understands when our best is | | | | Unconditional love means just that. We are to love |
| sometimes far from great. After all, we are forgiven | | | | others even when they are not being very lovable. |
| people, people as 1 John 1:9 reminds us who just | | | | And, yes, at times we need to protect ourselves |
| need to confess our weaknesses to God. God will | | | | from other's bad behavior, but even when that is the |
| forgive us, but can we forgive ourselves? | | | | case, we are to still to think of them with love. After |
| We all know that those closest to us know just | | | | all it is so true about walking a mile in another |
| what "buttons" to push to try to make us feel guilty. | | | | person's shoes. If we really knew all the |
| When someone wants something from us that for | | | | circumstances in anyone's life, could we still remain |
| whatever reason we are unable or unwilling to give | | | | critical? I think not. |
| them, their words can often wound us deeply. How | | | | 1 Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the love |
| many parents today, not willing to risk having their | | | | chapter of the Bible. And for years I read it only as a |
| children angry with them, are accepting all sorts of | | | | description of the way I should think of other people. |
| unacceptable behavior? And how many adult children | | | | I never looked at it as also a way that I should treat |
| are struggling to live up to the standards that their | | | | myself. But, if I am to love others as I love myself, I |
| parents set for them? How many people are not | | | | had better be careful about how I am loving myself. |
| living their own lives, even perhaps the lives God | | | | That chapter tells us, among other things, that love is |
| would have them live, because of fear of the | | | | patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs, trusts, |
| reaction of those they care about? Between these | | | | hopes, and perseveres. Well, are we patient with |
| people and all the information we are bombarded | | | | ourselves? Are we kind to ourselves? Are we able to |
| with on a daily level telling us how to improve our | | | | stop going over and over in our mind those things |
| lives, is it any wonder that we are stressed? We are | | | | we may have done wrong? Or are we able to |
| constantly being told we are not "good enough"; | | | | confess them to God and allow ourselves to feel |
| perfection should be our goal. | | | | forgiven? Can we continue to trust in ourselves, |
| Trying to be perfect, whether because it is the only | | | | continue to feel hope that each day we are getting |
| way we can feel good about ourselves, or because | | | | better, and especially, are we able to stay true to |
| we fear another's response, is keeping many of us in | | | | our desire to be ever more Christ-like, but without |
| a state of stress and unhappiness, often unable to | | | | getting into an anxious, self-critical state, thinking we |
| see all the good that is in our lives. I know for me | | | | are just such miserable failures? |
| that it can still be all too easy to allow myself to feel | | | | As a human being I will never be perfect, never |
| miserable when I look back on some behavior or look | | | | totally OK, and neither will any other person on earth. |
| back on some words I may have spoken. I can get | | | | We can, and should, continue to strive to become |
| into dwelling on that and in doing so, I am not seeing | | | | more Christ-like, but when we feel we have failed, |
| all the blessings in my life. Today I do workshops and | | | | God is still loving us. Instead of staying stuck in our |
| retreats, but it has taken me a long time to feel able | | | | guilt, we are free to confess and then pick ourselves |
| to do this, and the reason that was stopping me was | | | | up and go on again. |
| the fear of criticism. Sometimes the things God would | | | | |